Example script: teaching essay introductions
This lesson section would come after reading and discussing Langston Hughes’s ‘A Love Song for Lucinda’ and the script below follows what I would say to a Y9 class to aid them craft personal thesis statement introductions based on this poem. For my post which explains how scripts can be used in teacher development, please see here.
“I’m going to explain something important to you now, so it’s essential that you sit up straight, keep your eyes on me and focus on listening really carefully. I don’t need you to write anything yet; I just need you to listen and think.
I’m going to explain to you how to write a short but effective introduction.
When we write essay answers, we should aim to start with summarising our answer to the question in a short introduction. We call these introductions thesis statements. They sum up the main points we’ll explain in more detail later in the essay.
To write a lovely thesis statement introduction, first, jot down three ideas you have in relation to the question. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel confident — just scribble down any three ideas that come to mind.
For example, here our question is:
How does Hughes present his feelings in this poem?
I know I’m thinking about his feelings, so my three initial ideas are: [write on board/under visualiser as I speak].
He feels deeply in love in this poem.
He uses lots of natural images to explain his powerful loving emotions.
However, he also hints that love can also be dangerous or damaging, and it might change you forever.
Now I’ve got my three bullet points, I’m ready to write my introduction! It’s ONLY going to be two or three sentences long, and I don’t need to include quotes — these will come in my later paragraphs after the introduction.
So, I might write something like: [model writing as I speak]
In ‘A Love Song for Lucinda’, Hughes presents his feelings of love as a powerful and almost magical force. However, his use of natural imagery might imply that love is beautiful and dangerous: it seems as if falling in love can change your life forever.
Right, let’s have a look. Is it two or three sentences? Yes. Have I answered the question? Yes. I also quite like that I’ve used the word ‘However’ — this is good because it shows I’m giving a secondary interpretation. It’s also good that I’ve used ‘might’ and ‘seems’ — that means it doesn’t matter if I’m not 100% certain. OK, I’m happy with it.
[remove modelled writing]
Now over to you. Pick up your pens, and decide three ideas you have in answer to the question. Bullet point them now. You can use mine or your own ideas.
Fabulous. Now, use those ideas to write a 2–3 sentence thesis statement introduction. See if you can push yourself to include the word ‘However’.
Right, let’s hear a few [listen, praise and make suggestions].”
